I thought I would quickly run down my year in sports thus far:

Atlanta Braves:

—Eliminated from Postseason. Maybe one day there will be another World Series trophy.
Jeff Gordon:
—Not doing too bad. Third in points. Maybe he'll win this year.
Detroit Red Wings:
—Hockey's not even playing this year it looks like.
Alabama:

—Hanging by a string and just hoping to be bowl eligible.
Green Bay Packers:
—I can't even speak about it.

In conclusion: My sports season? Except for Jeff Gordon, THUMBS DOWN.