I've got to find myself again because I've misplaced me.

You know, in my line of work, I meet a lot of people. I know a lot of people. Yet, my social life is a complete dud. I realized this tonight while up at my mother-in-law's house. My brother-in-law, Matt, asked me, “So… what's new?” My reply? “Same crap, different day.”

It hit me like a ton of bricks. I have nothing new going on. In fact, outside of work, I have nothing going on at all. Monday and Friday, I work mornings. Tuesday through Thursday I work at night. I go to bed, get up, do what I need to around the house, go to work and go back to bed. I have no time usually during the week, and it seems like we're never here on weekends (Today was nice, though. Dad and Mary came down, and we grilled out on our new smoker).

I digress, though. The point of this whole entry is I don't have any close friends here. We're always gone, so I feel like my “guy relationships” at church are disappearing. I don't work with any other guy in the area, either. I don't have a Jimmy, Chris, Justin, Dave, Shawn, Clayton, Drew, or Michael around here. Heck, Jimmy and Michael are the only ones I really keep in constant communication with. I talk to the other guys, but not as often as I would like.

I miss Tuscaloosa. Not because it's home to my alma mater, but because all of my really close friends (save Chris and Jimmy) are there. Justin, Dave and I would get together every Wednesday night and watch baseball. Shawn and I would play video games and yap at church. Clayton, Drew and Michael were always at work with me.

I have my friends at work here that I enjoy being around, but they're all 45 minutes away. Eric was the closest person to being a best friend who actually lived near me, but now he's in Virginia. I'm starting all over again.

The worst part of it is people see me just as a television reporter. “Hey! Can you come give us some exposure for this?” Or, “We're having this event on this day. Can you cover it for us?” It's never, “Hey! Want to come with me to this?” “Want to hang out with us?” I'm the guy with a camera in my hand and a voice for others on television. I'm the guy in your living room in the evenings, but I'm not a friend. I'm not someone you can confide in. I'm not someone you can call up, grill out, play games, or go places with. I'm just a face and voice.

I do have my off-hours, and I do have my interests. It just seems like I'm never invited anywhere unless I'm in my suit and tie with my microphone. I do have a couple of contacts that invite me to things outside of work, and I appreciate that. But, they're not my age, or really share my deepest interests. I can't tell them deep things about myself, or things that weigh heavy on my heart.

This entry is not a plea for someone to reach out to me. It's just something that hit me when Matt asked me that simple and frequent question. A question in the past I could usually spout off a multitude of answers for.

Not this time.