First off, I apologize for the title.  It’s how I feel, though.

Secondly, 2010 will always be a year I put down in my “strongly dislike” column.  Sure, it had its good moments, but I would say that was only 25 percent of the year.

Let me break down the good stuff first:

Family

My wife and kids have remained pretty healthy this year.  Amy and I have grown closer, especially at the end of the year. She has been a calming and solid force throughout some tough times right now.

Sports

My awesome alma mater kicked off the year by beating the snot out of U of Texas for the national championship.  My employer ended the year #1 and will play for the national championship in January.  Both teams produced back-to-back Heisman winners, so that makes my home state look pretty sweet all around.

Ghostbusters

The Alabama Ghostbusters literally exploded with memberships and charity donations.  We did a TON of events and simply had a great year altogether.  I’ve made a lot of great friends in the group.

I got to see Tom Merrit and Veronica Belmont again at Dragon*Con.  Always a highlight of my year!  Plus, tons of GBs from around the country came and made it an awesome experience again!  We are co-hosting PKE Surge next year with our Georgia Ghostbusters family, as well as other awesome GB fans.  It should be an absolute blast!

I finally got to hang out with Ernie Hudson (“Winston”)!  We ate dinner with him, and I got to spend a lot of time with him.  He really is one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met.

Thank you, Mattel, for giving us awesome GB toys (despite you draining my wallet).

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This song perfectly describes 85% of my life right now.

Notable lyrics:

“Waiting for the end to come
Wishing I had strength to stand
This is not what I had planned
It’s out of my control

“Flying at the speed of light
Thoughts were spinning in my head
So many things were left unsaid
It’s hard to let you go

“I know what it takes to move on
I know how it feels to lie
All I wanna do is trade this life for something new
Holding on to what I haven’t got

Sitting in an empty room
Trying to forget the past
This was never meant to last
I wish it wasn’t so”

I did a search tonight of one of my old websites (about a year before acquiring brockp.com), and I found a brief autobiography from 1998.  Eh, why not share it and see how my 22-year-old brain worked?    And yes, several things have changed since then.

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I really need this blog right now.  You wouldn’t think so with the lack of updates, but maybe one day I can treat this as a daily (heck, even weekly) form of therapy.

Work has me completely swamped, I keep waiting (and waiting and waiting and …) on my freelance guy to get back with me (even though I consistently e-mail him, but have other projects to keep me very busy) and I have taken a brief three-week hiatus from my ALGB events.  I’ve promised so many things to so many other people that I can’t remember them from one day to the next (I’m especially thinking of you, Stephen.  I’ll get to your site soon!).

You throw all that together, and the fact I might be looking for a part-time job after work every day, and I don’t know if I’m coming or going.  I forget how therapeutic sitting down and typing all this out can be.

Some really cool things have happened the last couple of weeks at work.  Did you hear all the commotion about Taylor Swift coming to Auburn to hug a couple of guys?  Yeah, I was there and knew she was coming before most everyone in town.  That was last week, and this past Monday Rudy Giuliani came to campus, too.  I got to meet him and listen to him speak.  Very, very awesome man and very funny.  I’ll post the photos I got with him when I get them.  Next week also promises to be cool because at graduation, Apple COO Tim Cook will be the commencement speaker.  He’s an AU grad, and he’s Steve Jobs’ right-hand man.  I’ll get to hang out a little with him, too.  I do love my job.

While all those good things have happened at work, my personal life has been spiraling out of control on occasion.  I’m certainly not getting into a lot of details here for many reasons, but I’ve got to take some time away from all this other stuff for my family.  Amy and I really need to get away alone for a few days, but therein lies the problem of actually being able to afford a trip.

I really want to open up here and just vent all my frustrations about the last few months, but I won’t because I’ve got to maintain some privacy here on the Internet.  I might make a private post where I put all my thoughts down.  That way I don’t rock the boat with anyone in particular.  I don’t know.

I guess I can say I’m aggravated with life in general right now.  The money’s not there, the calm at home isn’t there, my freelance work isn’t there, I can’t finish my voice production site the way I’d like, etc.  I’m more prone to biting someone’s head off right now because of all this.  I even took two or three days at work last week where I didn’t say anything to anyone.  I even avoided lunch with my coworkers.  There are so many days I don’t feel social at all, and I hate that.  I love my friends and family, and I don’t like wanting to avoid them all the time.

I don’t want it to seem like I’m complaining all the time on here, either.  I’m sorry if I’m coming off that way.  I just have so much stuff on my chest, and I know it’s not important to you or many other people in worse situations.  However, it’s major to me, and this is my avenue of release despite me not saying too much here right now.

I’d better hop off and get in the bed.  I don’t want to chance saying something someone might take out of context.   Plus, I’d be surprised if you’re still here by now.  Maybe I can sit down with my “Life by the numbers” series again soon.  I always enjoy thinking of old times.  Then again, that could be where a lot of my problems start bubbling … missing my past too much.

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve updated this thing.  Forgive the neglect.  I’ve had lots of things going on in my personal life that has kept me from this.

I have not given up on the “Life by the Numbers” series I was working on.  I’ve just been sidetracked.  I will try to get some more stuff going soon.

Keep watching this site, especially if you don’t have Twitter.  The feed on the left remains very active, so there is some content flowing on here.  Just not the main blog stuff you’ve been reading.

Back to work!