This song perfectly describes 85% of my life right now.

Notable lyrics:

“Waiting for the end to come
Wishing I had strength to stand
This is not what I had planned
It’s out of my control

“Flying at the speed of light
Thoughts were spinning in my head
So many things were left unsaid
It’s hard to let you go

“I know what it takes to move on
I know how it feels to lie
All I wanna do is trade this life for something new
Holding on to what I haven’t got

Sitting in an empty room
Trying to forget the past
This was never meant to last
I wish it wasn’t so”

As most people who crawl out of their beds and work for a living, I’m happy it’s Friday.  I don’t have much planned this weekend except for a neighbor kid’s birthday party and running down to Montgomery to drop off some group supplies for Kevin.  Got a fundraiser next weekend for Project Ecto in B’ham, but I won’t be able to make due to plans for my birthday.

Speaking of Project Ecto, I’m ready to get it off my plate.  We need to raise $2,500 more, and the car will be ours.  No one is really contributing anything despite the fact this will be a charity/community event car.  It’s not for any of our personal uses, and I don’t even know if that belief is the reason we’re not getting many donations for it.  I’d like to think it’s just because the economy stinks right now.  Either way, I’m tired of asking businesses and private folks for a hand (on that note, please see the above link if you’d like to donate online).

The freelance voice gig site is in dire need of an update.  Yeah, I only launched it a couple of weeks ago, but you’ve got to maintain a site like that to draw people in.  I have one potential paying gig so far, and I hope that will open the door for more.  I’ve got a lead from a friend about a video production house nearby that could possibly use my services.  I need to call them early next week.  (Click here to “like” the BPVP Facebook page)

I’m also still taking freelance projects for websites.  The guy I’ve been working with hasn’t bothered to respond to my e-mails in almost two months, so I’m open for new jobs right now.  I really need the money to buy a new computer because my current one isn’t handling all the new CS5 software too well.  Actually, it’s not handling a lot of stuff too well right now.  The motherboard and CPU are almost six-years-old, so it’s time to upgrade.

We took lil’ man back to his cardiologist a couple of weeks ago, and he got a great report.  Doc said by the time he’s 10, all this will be an afterthought.  I’m so thankful for the doctors at UAB.  God has given them talents beyond my wildest imagination.

I’m hoping to see “Inception” some time this weekend.  I probably won’t, but I’ll try.  I’m really looking forward to it and what Chris Nolan brings to it.  After this dies down, they’ll start focusing heavily on Batman 3.  To say I’m excited about that is a huge understatement.

Speaking of sequels, we’re all hoping Ghostbusters 3 will get the green light soon.  I’ve actually been e-mailing back-and-forth with Ernie Hudson (“Winston”) about some things.  I won’t say what they are at this time, but he is an incredibly nice man.  I’m enjoying getting to know him a little, and I hope that will continue to grow as I work on some things with him.

Work has been great this week, except for the fact all my friends are gone.  A few are in Europe until this weekend, and a couple others took some time off.  I’ve been able to catch up on almost all my projects which is awesome.  This fall will be hectic as we move the university into a new website design.  I’ll be migrating possibly thousands of pages over to the new look, so any rest I can get right now is awesome.

Speaking of, we’re hiring a new multimedia specialist.  It’s a position that has been abandoned for about 1.5 years now, and I’ve been the sole keeper of the fort.  This will be a starter position, but it will allow me to toss all these small Web updates people want over to the new person.  That will give me more time to do bigger projects, as well as focus more on our social media plans.  I’m very grateful for that.  It’s so hard to work on any one project when e-mails come flying in from all over campus wanting these mundane changes.  It’s not mundane to them, but it is when I’m swamped with bigger projects.

Well, the official start time of the work day has arrived.  Need to knock out a couple of things before I get into weekend mode.

I did a search tonight of one of my old websites (about a year before acquiring brockp.com), and I found a brief autobiography from 1998.  Eh, why not share it and see how my 22-year-old brain worked?    And yes, several things have changed since then.

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I really need this blog right now.  You wouldn’t think so with the lack of updates, but maybe one day I can treat this as a daily (heck, even weekly) form of therapy.

Work has me completely swamped, I keep waiting (and waiting and waiting and …) on my freelance guy to get back with me (even though I consistently e-mail him, but have other projects to keep me very busy) and I have taken a brief three-week hiatus from my ALGB events.  I’ve promised so many things to so many other people that I can’t remember them from one day to the next (I’m especially thinking of you, Stephen.  I’ll get to your site soon!).

You throw all that together, and the fact I might be looking for a part-time job after work every day, and I don’t know if I’m coming or going.  I forget how therapeutic sitting down and typing all this out can be.

Some really cool things have happened the last couple of weeks at work.  Did you hear all the commotion about Taylor Swift coming to Auburn to hug a couple of guys?  Yeah, I was there and knew she was coming before most everyone in town.  That was last week, and this past Monday Rudy Giuliani came to campus, too.  I got to meet him and listen to him speak.  Very, very awesome man and very funny.  I’ll post the photos I got with him when I get them.  Next week also promises to be cool because at graduation, Apple COO Tim Cook will be the commencement speaker.  He’s an AU grad, and he’s Steve Jobs’ right-hand man.  I’ll get to hang out a little with him, too.  I do love my job.

While all those good things have happened at work, my personal life has been spiraling out of control on occasion.  I’m certainly not getting into a lot of details here for many reasons, but I’ve got to take some time away from all this other stuff for my family.  Amy and I really need to get away alone for a few days, but therein lies the problem of actually being able to afford a trip.

I really want to open up here and just vent all my frustrations about the last few months, but I won’t because I’ve got to maintain some privacy here on the Internet.  I might make a private post where I put all my thoughts down.  That way I don’t rock the boat with anyone in particular.  I don’t know.

I guess I can say I’m aggravated with life in general right now.  The money’s not there, the calm at home isn’t there, my freelance work isn’t there, I can’t finish my voice production site the way I’d like, etc.  I’m more prone to biting someone’s head off right now because of all this.  I even took two or three days at work last week where I didn’t say anything to anyone.  I even avoided lunch with my coworkers.  There are so many days I don’t feel social at all, and I hate that.  I love my friends and family, and I don’t like wanting to avoid them all the time.

I don’t want it to seem like I’m complaining all the time on here, either.  I’m sorry if I’m coming off that way.  I just have so much stuff on my chest, and I know it’s not important to you or many other people in worse situations.  However, it’s major to me, and this is my avenue of release despite me not saying too much here right now.

I’d better hop off and get in the bed.  I don’t want to chance saying something someone might take out of context.   Plus, I’d be surprised if you’re still here by now.  Maybe I can sit down with my “Life by the numbers” series again soon.  I always enjoy thinking of old times.  Then again, that could be where a lot of my problems start bubbling … missing my past too much.

I recently stumbled upon this little site where you can ask anonymous questions. I’ll answer everything you ask, so give it a shot! Remember I’ll have no clue who’s asking me these unless you opt in for that.

http://www.formspring.me/brockp